I talk about Ronald and the bad things we going through, but i want to explain why its hard for me to walk away from him.See thats the thing, even though we had our ups and down,I was happy most of - question #7064

the time with him,when ever he didn't retreat,he was very nice, loving and attentive with me.he made me feel like I was the most loved and tge most beautiful woman in the world.we hit it off from the beginning like we know each other for years.he did all the calling and texting first every single day, I never had the chance to text first because he woke up everyday with me on his mind texting me good morning like 6a.m.we would chat and talk all day in between working.he helped me with grieving the loss of my 27 year old nephew getting killed and helped me with my sister in law passing 2 months ago. I only mentioned the bad parts about him is because that is what I'm going through now. Even him being distant now,he still text to check in on me. The only thing I don't like is the fact he didn't tell me he is married, that devastated me because he crushed my dreams when he had gave me fauce hope saying he want to marry me and buy me a house and asked for my ring size.and him retreating and being distant is a pattern with him since I known him the 3 years.This isn't the first time he get distant. It's different t this time because usually we have a very small arguement or I call him out on something then he would stop speaking to me over misunderstandings for like months, this time he still talk ti me, we just don't talk a whole lot like before. He slowly making his way back now out of retreat.i understood why he was distant back then because of the guilt he felt of keeping his marriage away from me. He said the guilt was getting to him. But I don't understand why he get distant now. Just want to explain to u why I can't help how I feel about him he was the only thing I have in my life that made me happy, smile and laugh and joke with each other. We have so much in common it's scary. I never had a man in my life that made me feel so special in my life ever.i literally loss everything my job that I worked for 27 years, my vehicle, I still don't have a job because I had to apply for disability because my health problems cause my mobility to not be the same as before.i have depression problems, I have loss 4 close family members in a 3 year time, my nephew, favorite cousin, my father and now sister inlaw. He been there through all of this with me.talking to me giving me coping advice and shoeing me he really care and loving me. I guess you can say he is like my life boat I'm grasping for the only piece of happiness I have. Just now I feel like I'm bitter at tge fact that I forgave him for all the pain he did cause especially finding out he married is a betrayal but I forgave him, then he have the nerve to still get distant instead of just being truthful say what's on his mind.dont worry about hurting me if he love me like he say, he should just tell me the truth and not worry about losing me. Love me enough and be selfless and think about me knowing everything I been through in my life especially with men